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:ZDZISLAW BEKSINSKI ARTWORK:
An article written by Robert Foster of Bank Holiday
In keeping with this season of cheer and joy, we bring you.... Zdzisław Beksiński (1929-2005) a Polish painter who produced these grim little numbers before being murdered by the son of his long time caretaker in 2005, who stabbed him to death - 17 wounds in total, just to make sure - because he wouldn't lend him the equivalent of £50.
His paintings are grim as grim can be, but he found them amusing and thought of them as hopeful rather than apocalyptic, which makes absolutely no sense at all. Have a go on these:
:THE EX-BOYFRIEND REVENGE KIT:
Some bitches be trippin'. Some more so than others depending on the moon. I've heard some funny tales of ladies liberating themselves and going bat shit crazy after finding out their partners have done the dirty on them. Hell I've even indulged in a bit of red midst fury myself which I shan't go into now. It's a tragic yet surprisingly righteous and invigorating experience that allows you to play out all your favourite chick-flick scenes involving Bridget Jones and Jennifer Aniston, and also that song by Kelis, mixed with a little bit of Texas Chainsaw Masacre and Basketball Wives.
Well what better way to capitalise in on this moment than to make a 'Ex-Boyfriend Revenge Kit.' The team at Her Royal Flyness have come together to design this conceptual kit, which they express is only for a joke, (it's like when someone says something nasty to you and then says JOKINNNGG at the end of it even though you know they're not.)
Featured in the concept are items such as a balaclava (my favourite), 1 mini crowbar, 1 pair of leather gloves, an injection kit, bondage tape, knuckledusters and rope. All in a nice teal colour might I add.
Of course the ladies at Her Royal Flyness do not actually sell these items, but you can purchase the teal tote bag from them which is pretty much a massive hint if I ever saw one to go and get the rest of the equipment elsewhere.
:CHRISTMAS TINNER:
Everyone has their favourite bit about Christmas. For some, it's the coming together of loved ones and cherished moments shared. For others, it's the arrival of Danny Dyer to Eastenders and the chance to mince around in tracksuits with nice elasticated waistbands all day, yes. But there's a small breed of us that say, "F@ck the turkey, I wanna play my new COD Ghosts on my new F@cking Xbox already."
For those who deem gaming to be far higher in priority to eating, GAME (UK) have created the perfect thing for you, it's Christmas Tinner and it's in a nice can. It's got everything from mince pies to brussel sprouts without the lame Christmas cracker jokes and awkward silences, win. Win?
:THE WORLDS LARGEST GINGERBREAD VILLAGE:
I remember when I was younger my mother attempted to make an IKEA gingerbread house. She failed massively and there was loads of swearing - cherished childhood memories. Here's some guys who have managed to succeed in the candy construction world. Gingerbread Lane is a 300 square foot village weighing 1.5 tonnes and dreamed up by chef Jon Lovitch. This Guinness World Record-winning village is on display in NY and I can bet your bottom dollar that some chubby kid on a school trip will definitely have a go.
:UNHEALTHY SCHOOL DINNERS:
If you're aged 24 and above and you went to a state school in a city, in particular London, you would of experienced the pre-Jamie Oliver school dinner days. Personally I loved the turkey drumsticks but the amount of potato smileys I've digested in my life time is just damn upsetting..
Here is the photography collection called 'Fed Up' grouped by Farah Sheikh of unappetizing school dinners snapped by American school kids. It's a collection aimed to raise awareness about obesity and illnesses through junk food.
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:24K GOLD ROLLING PAPERS:
Who says smoking's not cool? I remember the days of smoking Richmond Menthols was 'the thing' and I discovered that certain leaves near my house were really good to rub the smell of smoke off my fingers. Instead my mum probably thought I had some intense gardening habit but hey we've come along way.
The guys over at Shine have created the pimpiest of pimp accessories for all you smokers who like the golden side to life, the 24K Gold Rolling Papers. This company has been growing in popularity over the internet and the likes of Method Man & Red Man have been snapped using these babies. Now I'm not actually promoting smoking, merely the papers, they're shiny and I can see my face in them. If you or your cromies want a pack head over here to purchase a pack, they'd make the perfect present for your mum.
Photography by Steve Glashier from Format 34, those guys are really something.
:ANTIQUE VAMPIRE HUNTER KITS:
Antique Vampire Hunter’s Kits
"Kits during the mid 19th century; were typically purchased by wealthy Americans and nobles going overseas, particularly to Eastern European destinations. Content varies, some kits included: Silver-tipped Hawthorn Stakes, Mallet, Small Silver Crucifix, Large Wooden Crucifix, Pistol, Silver Bullets (engraved with a cross), Vial of Holy Water, Vial of Anointing Oil, Vial of Brimstone, Vial of Vampirism (cure), Vial of Holy Soil, Syringe, Holy Incense, Blessed Candles (inlaid with metal crosses), Rosary, Forceps/Pliers, Silver Knife, Prayer Book, Mirror."
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