Samuel L Jackson bedtime story:Go the Fuck to Sleep:

Go the Fuck to Sleep is a book described as a "children's book for adults". This is the audio book version narrated by Samuel L Jackson. There is also another version narrated in the style of Christopher Walken but it's not as aggressively endearing and sounds a lot more like your being held at gun point with a silencer by the hands of a good looking old man who suggests that you sleep. Enjoy.

The cats nestle close to their kittens now.
The lambs have laid down with the sheep.
You’re cozy and warm in your bed, my dear
Please go the fuck to sleep