:THE PERFECT BOYFRIEND:

I need me one of these, my one makes too much noise and sweats like it's his job. 

This 6ft woollen men is the 'Ideal Boyfriend.' He's soft to the touch and doesn't give back chat when you know your right. Designed by Dutch artist Noortje de Keijzer she gave up dating to sew her own man. The Perfect Boyfriend is not yet ready for mass production sales as the first two models she has created are just the first prototypes but if you're really lonely just keep your eyes open, or make one of your own.


There are of course other options such as a papier mache one, a big industrial bag of sand or a blow up doll. Oh and maybe a human one as well but they're known to blow off in the mornings and put their thang on your head.