I'm one of those people that when I'm having my hair cut I like to just keep quiet so the hairdresser can focus 100% on not fucking up my hair and less on celebrity weddings and my love life. 
I'm your female alternative to Mark from Peep Show, I like to think I just do a better job at hiding it. So today I went to a photo shoot. I had no pre-planned conversation topics and I was looking forward to someone touching my face in silence for a few hours and ending it with them giving me money leaving with a face of porceline/plaster. Not the case. The girl highlighted the fact I was being quiet so I felt obliged to make conversation...the only interesting thing I had learnt the day before.

"Did you know that guy Ken Barlow from Coronation Street who was recently outed as a rapist pedophile is 81? He doesn't look 81 at all, he looks really good for his age!."

Yep great well done, you are truly the master of pleasant conversation. Sorry make up lady but your decent conversation about make-up and what I do for a living is wasted on me, come back with facts on Pokemon and steak and I'll listen. But don't act like your not impressed by my fact.