:MAYBE IT'S MAYBELLINE: MAYBE IT'S NOT: MAYBE IT'S FUCK OFF:

I've started shooting more recently which means I've been having my make up done by professionals who actually know how to use it and don't pretend its war paint and make a complete coloring book of my face. Unfortunately the make ups been making me look better which means I've been spending major dollars keeping up appearances.

 I'm not alone. My mum is also a big fan of 'editing my looks' and has been taking me to many a chavy makeup artist to test shit out. (She has offered me a nose job twice now just sayin.) Today a lady told me how pretty and clean and smooth and amazing my skin was. Then all shit broke loose. She heard I didn't moisturise and lost her tiny make up mind. Now my skin was all of a sudden really dry and discolored and shit and needed a boost to hydrate it otherwise it would keel over and die; and the only way I could achieve this was by 
BUYING THI$ HYDRATING MAGIC CREAM FILLED WITH UNICORN JIZZ AND KITTEN WHI$PER$ AND ALL THIS OTHER SHIT FOR ONLY A TRILLION POUNDS...

So obviously we bought it.
 I'm gunna look fucking sick when that unicorn jizz sets in.